2020


Hey, it’s already 2020.

Right now, i wanna write about my intentions for this year. It’s not a resolution because i personally don’t have any specific goal this year. At least i wanna do better for my life. First i need to focus on my preparation to go to college, to get into my dream university. Next, whether i’m accepted or not, i believe in Allah that He will lead me to the best path.

Actually i’ve made note about what i’m gonna write in the blog, but unfortunately my handphone can’t be turned on. But still, i wanna post something in the beginning of this year as a reminder for my next-months self.

First, i wanna take care of my self more serious. It’s about my body’s health, skin, mind, mental, and everything about me. I used to ignore my self because i always focus on trying to please people, having conversation, being sociable, being helpful—in order to make my self feel better. It was good. But i think, it is the right time for me to put my self in the highest priority of mine.

I wanna do exercise in the morning, eat healthy food, read more self-improvement books, doing skincare, and etc. Before people value me, i wanna value my self fist. Back then i had zero confidence in my self although actually i knew i was capable to do something i want to do. Taking care of my self is a way for me to look deeper and realized how grateful i am to be me.

Next, i wanna learn new skills and find opportunities. I don’t know exactly about my passion or my ‘ikigai’. The thing that i know is i’m a type of a person who can love what i do. I’m not passionate on particular thing, but i always enjoy learning new things. Sometimes it is good but sometimes it is not. However, i know that i should find at least one thing for me to be expert on, because i can’t do everything. I need to let someone else handle other things.

Like Garry Keller said,
"You can become successful with less discipline than you think, for one simple reason: success is about doing the right thing, not about doing everything right" 

"You can do two things at once, but you can't focus effectively on two things at once"

The last thing is to not forget what my life purpose is. I wanna be a better moslem, understand more about my religion, do the right things, being helpful, and of course i should do everything with my sincere. Recently i realized that sincerity is very important. I find a person who always show his sincerity. Although he is not the good one in giving advice, helping people, or taking part in charity. But he looks sincere. I wanna be like that, because i feel like everyone surround him definitely can feel it.

I hope in this year, i won’t let my self complain on trivial things, even if i just think it in my mind. I wanna be sincere to get closer to everyone because i’m not good in interracting and socializing. At least i can reach their feelings emotionally although it doesn’t fit the “social media system” right now.
In conclusion, i wanna do my best.

Sincerely, me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

About : "Love"

Once again, I’m telling myself that it’s not an easy thing to talk about. So, I really make a progress by having courage to write this and probably share it in my Blog (let’s see). Apa yang terlintas di pikiranmu kalau aku nyebut kata “love”? Kalau aku pribadi, otakku langsung mengingat berbagai macam orang, pengalaman, hobi, dan lain-lain, diikuti sama perasaan yang menyertainya. Entah itu perasaan menghangatkan atau sebaliknya. Tapi jujur, hal pertama yang diingat dan mungkin ini udah jadi bagian dari core memory-ku adalah the feeling of heartbreak that I experienced for the first time. 😊 See? Ini bakal jadi hal yang nggak mudah buat dibicarain tapi di sisi lain penting buat aku acknowledge and even talk about it. Why important? Because I already adopt the idea that somehow you need to talk about your vulnerabilities (your weaknesses, embarrassing moment, etc) in order to accept yourself whole-heartedly. Selain itu, aku mau mengingatkan bahwa having interest in someone or trying...
Read more

About : “Perfectionism and Hatred”

Beberapa waktu ke belakang, aku nulis juga, tapi belum sampai selesai, aku hapus karena ngerasa tulisanku ngga cukup bagus, kurang faedahnya, dan sebagainya. Padahal dari dulu aku suka nulis. Ada juga orang yang baca dan ngerasa dapat manfaat dari itu. Tapi kenapa sering banget kayanya kena impostor syndrome? Walaupun udah lebih bisa mengatasi itu beberapa tahun terakhir, setelah baca beberapa part di buku The Gift of Imperfection karya Brene Brown, aku jadi tau kalau itu semua ada hubungannya sama sifat perfeksionisku yang aku kira sama kayak “melakukan yang terbaik” tapi ternyata ngga. Jujur aku ngga semental baja itu menghadapi respons negatif, konfrontasi, dan hal-hal semacamnya. Jadi aku terbiasa main aman dan mencoba melakukan segala sesuatu dengan “sempurna” (versiku) untuk melindungi diriku sendiri yang rentan. Dan sebagaimana yang kita tau bahwa ngga ada hal yang benar-benar sempurna, menghindari semua negativisme dari luar sangatlah ngga mungkin. Kalau dari risetnya Br...
Read more

About : "Others 2"

  Hey,there. Aku lagi. Kenapa lagi nih, galau? Hehe. Maaf ya, aku. Kadang kepalaku juga ngerasa gitu. Apakah aku punya hati yang terlalu rapuh dan kurang bisa mempertimbangkan dengan baik atau membuat keputusan yang paling tepat hingga aku banyak menulis dan mempertanyakan segala hal. Tapi ngga tahu kenapa aku rasanya sekarang seperti bisa sedikit lebih bernapas lega mengingat ternyata yang sedang aku lakukan ini bukan suatu hal yang percuma. Kenggajelasan hatiku, kengga-mood-an diriku, kelalaianku dalam banyak hal. Aku takut juga awalnya. Aku merasa segalanya runtuh karena aku ngga cukup baik dan ngga cukup berani. Tapi ternyata fase-fase seperti itu lah yang membuatku bisa memulai kembali. Walaupun kadang runtuh lagi, kali ini kerusakannya ngga separah dulu. Sedikit demi sedikit aku memperbaiki pondasi. Aku begitu marah dengan diriku sendiri melihat diriku yang sekarang—seringkali. Aku membandingkannya dengan diriku dulu yang sangat fokus dengan apa yang aku mau, mempero...
Read more